bulb series

November 5, 2008

Extending the bulb jokes to other areas, here are some that crossed my mind-

Q- how many republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A- one maverick

Q- how many democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A- none, you ‘hope’ for ‘change’ and it just happens

Q- how many unmarried desis does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A- none, as they are unaware of what screwing is.

Q- how many bloggers does it take to screw in a ligt bulb?
A- 200, 1 to do the act, 99 to document it and 100 to comment

Q- how many tamilians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A- none, as their loud talking already shattered the bulb to pieces

Q- how many gujjus does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A- none, as it was already sold even before this question was asked

Q- how many gults does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A- depends, is there any dowry involved?

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go and vote

September 22, 2008

Flashback- While chairing the school’s election committee, I came up with some ads urging people to vote-

  • Vote- it is not your duty, it is your right
  • Everytime you skip voting, everyone gets a spam email.
  • Vote, and make yourself heard
  • If you can spend 2 mins trying to choose between BigMac and Whooper, you can spend a few more mins and vote for someone who stands for you.
  • If you can spend 2 mins to decide on HotOrNot.com, you can spend a few more mins and vote for someone who stands for you.
  • Research has proven that women find men who recently voted more attractive
  • Vote, or be prepared for the butterfly effect
  • Voting is a product of evolution, dont be left behind with the primates.
  • “Voting- so easy, even a caveman can do it” Just go to ..(url)..

No time? or Not a priority?

September 10, 2008

“I was busy, hence I couldnt do that”

“I didnt have time to check my email/voicemail”

“I was too busy to call/meet/come”

The above reasons can be tagged as “bullshit“.

We all agree with your highness that a day is limited to 24 hours, and there is only so much a human can achieve in that span, and that your resources and energy are limited as well. We also appreciate the fact that your highness has his hands full keping him busy.

But when something is not possible in your time domain, please do not attribute it to you being busy- it just makes you sound like a snob (I could as well say sob).

The actual reason(s) are one or all of the following-

  • I am bad at time management and I couldnt allocate enought time for that, and hence missed it.
  • It just isnt/wasnt my priority and I had more important thing(s) to do at that moment, hence I chose to ignore or procastinate on that.

Putting up a veil of helplessness (I am too busy, blah) doesnt help anyone, on the contrary, it makes the other person sound inconsequential, as if that person didnt have anything better, who had loads of time and hence made the guffaw of contacting your highness. If I can make an effort to take out a few mins to contact you, you have the minimum courtesy to reciprocate, or worst, atleast acknowledge the fact that you are incompetent and didnt feel like prioritizing it over watching the rerun of Seinfeld.

BTW, I had the time to make this post. My not-so-frequent posting (or responding to comments) here never means that I have no time, it just means- I have nothing worthwhile to say.

I rest my case. I am now back to room temperature.

links in a chain

April 8, 2008

Various links in a chain exist for strength (or information) to be passed on from one end to the other. The elements in between are not mere transporters, i.e., they should not just blindly pass on the packets but “attempt” to process them. Why? So that a) junk gets filtered and b) the next person (most probably an expert and more experienced) needs to process less to find the solution to the problem quickly.

In an organization, when a hierarchy exists, not every small issue gets escalated to the topmost.. they get processed, chopped, distributed so that the overall efficiency of the group as a whole increases.

Same is with chain forwards: one should not blindly forward emails just because it is easier to hit the forward button, but if he/she takes a mere 2 seconds to see if it makes sense (or is genuine), a lot of headache is reduced. Now why would I spend that time to process when I could just pass it on, what do I gain? The goodwill is reciprocated.

This rambling stemmed from the way I sometimes see issues getting escalated (say in a corporate scenario or library) without proper inputs from the various hands it passes: since when was the issue existing, what might have triggered it, who else has seen this etc etc.

When a patient goes to a doctor, he gives various hints (symptoms, etc) for the doc to analyze. He doesnt just lie on the examination table expecting miracles to happen. The more the info, the better the results. And that makes us humans rather than just iron links in a chain.

suicidal leaves

February 21, 2008

Ever wondered if it just happens with you, but when you are driving, sometimes some “stray leaves” (considering none are left in this part of the year) run towards your car and try to commit suicide, as if not able to bear this chilling winter?

Now to make up for the above (disturbing) lines, let me present this amazing 10 min video: a reprise of Dr. Randy’s talk from the Oprah show.. the good news is he is still kicking alive after 6 months, this feb 15th

Full version of his talk can be found here and this is what his students did for him as a thank you (in 05)

jooth bole kauaa choomey

January 11, 2008

An innocent lie starts with a baby when she wants to save herself. Situation: Mom asks munni if she was the reason for the mess in the kitchen. Answer: no (with a smirk)

Observation: Lies arise out of rules, not to break them but to circumvent them.

Lies grow with age. Situation: Mom asks munna how many hours of tv did he watch that week and the answer is suspiciously single-digit.

Lies grow to encompass various fields. Situation: Dad asks how many people are ahead of chutki in the class test and the answer is instantaneously either 3 or 4.

Observation: This is for the ‘torn between good and bad’ kind, who want to do good, but feel compelled to get through things by hook or crook: the choice is obvious. Resumes are faked, profiles are generated, impressions are created.. what is perceived need not imply the truth.

When a kid lies, it is cute and funny, when a grown-up lies, it changes/affects lives. Exception being (as society puts it) unless it is done for the greater good. Krishna lied; it is okay to build something as sacred as a marriage on a foundation of 100 lies (a telugu saying).. etc.

Alas, lies and truth are not as obvious as black and white (which themselves arent obvious.. 0 and 1 are just the negation of each other in binary system).

Complex na? and you thought sqrt(-1) is complex?

a new beginning: 2008

December 31, 2007

Everybody has a new year resolution, some of which stay, some vanish with the hangover, while some remain as a blog post. What one needs to resolve is not just to [insert something generic that you have resolved for the coming year] , but a resolution to keep the resolution strong. It might sound redundant, but the ultimate resolution is to promise oneself (and abide by it) that a resolution would be strong and unwavering, come what may.

Now before you ask me where/how to donate for imparting this advice, I would like to extend my warmest wishes to you and your loved ones for a Happy and Prosperous Year ahead.

PS: Does it matter if the date on our comp changes from 07 to 08? Isnt it the outlook (not MS-Outlook) that should change? And for those who might miss this Jan 1st for setting any deadline, there is Sankranthi lined up on Jan 14 for resolutions 😀