January 31, 2008
I was taking this poll and enthusiastically rushed in to check the results: it was quite reassuring that I am not weird. I have always been a proponent of being the villain in a movie (or in real life for that matter). Why, you ask? Here are my bullet-proof points, written as bullet points:
*) The obvious one: super hot villainess. The villain courts not just one but *many* hot females in his den.. roarrrrr, take that!
*) Not only the above, but some villains get some close encounters with the leading lady (for which the hero struggles during the whole movie and hardly gets a song or two, that too behind bushes, sheesh!)
*) The villain is uber rich right from the beginning of the movie. No struggling with money or fighting for food, no blind parents or handicapped siblings, no college fee jhanjhat. Money, wine, gadgets and women all the way. Any problem gets solved by a phone call to local MLA.
*) Many a times, the villain is the leading actor and the more interesting character in the movie: Gabbar Singh and Dr. Evil
*) Villains are one of the most ardent disciples of God. Most villains are either shown to be praying in their intro scenes or as disciples of Kaali maa. And Ravana was one of the most fanatic disciple of Surya (and Rama too, if we dig into the janmaas angle: He wanted to be close to Rama and traded one janma as villain to be close to Rama for the rest of the janmas as his bhakta, or so I heard)
*) Villains have the ultimate weapon: instilling fear in people. Nothing can stop them: law, love, etc. Aaand they atleast follow the laws of physics: have you seen any villain jump a 4 storey building from the ground? They might exaggerate a fall *from* the building when the hero kicks him (that pays the extra dough), but none of the gimmicks.. it is just plain business.
*) Villains speak their mind: if they feel like using filthy language or throw a comment or two, they do it without any societal pressure. Whereas heroes resort to hard-to-decipher dialogues (as they arent suppposed to talk bad, their mamma is watching) like “drink a dog’s blood”. Seriously, a dog’s blood?
Before you start pelting stones at me for supporting a noble cause, I put my pinky finger to the side of my mouth and sign off with a sinister laugh.