June 23, 2007
How punctual are you? What is the leeway within which you show up to meet friends?
I am notoriously famous for my ‘time-sense’. Some say the issue is with my prioritizing, and I say, if you are not worth remembering, then you are not worth visiting/calling on time. Ok, that was mean. But I am on time for important occasions, for instance, my imaginary dates.
I have made innumerable people wait, and not just ‘wait’ by human standards, but people equip themselves with a tent, 2 days food and a shaving kit when a meeting is fixed with me. I give people ample opportunities to solve the greatest mysteries of life when I say “I am there to pick you up in 10 minutes”, my tomorrow is farther than a Hyderabadi “kal” (which is usually atleast 48 earth hours). At one time, my some well-wishers contemplated implanting a GPS chip in my body so that they know where I am when I say “I am just a few blocks away, and on the way”.
I have successfully come up with 2 answers that explain this behavior:
1) I travel faster than light (“c”), because of which time dilation occurs. 5 minutes in my world is 2 hours in the “real” world.. remember the Aishwarya Rai marriage-paradox when your Physics teacher was explaining Lorentz transformations and Relativity?
2) I epitomize Heisenberg’s Uncertainty principle: If I am supposed to be at a certain place, I am there but not on time, and if I do happen to be on time, I end up being at the wrong place.
People have taken my help for predictions: if I am in the vicinity of the place I was supposed to be, within a “reasonable” period of time, then a major disaster occurs. The last instance I was on-time, Chiranjeevi’s “Stalin” movie was released (leaving many almost dead).
How does time get its revenge? By playing with me. It either prepones events or delays instead of letting things take their natural course. My friend told me that the only way I could understand the agony of others waiting for me is when I get constipation. (I made this up).
PS: this post was in draft-mode waiting to be published since a week 🙂