May 28, 2007

Today, after having encountered a ‘situation’, I could not help myself from classifying people based on their talking behavior:

  • mic-testing-1-2-3: these are the stentorians who feel that everytime they open their mouth, they are addressing a crowd of 100, be it with a mic or without one. Their voice is heard rooms away (when they are having a ‘normal’ conversation on the phone), and as you might have guessed, they are not great with sharing secrets or comments. For eg. I whisper: “dude, check out that girl”, my friend:”which one? the floral short skirt walee?” which was loud enough to drive the point across, inspite of the laaarge distance.. she adjusts the skirt and walks by with an angry face.
  • 0 to 60 in 4 secs: yes, the Ferrari kind (of which I am a proud member). These talk as if they are going to die in a few mins and would do their best to talk as fast as they can in the next few available precious moments. My presentations take about half the time alloted, and people think I have nothing to talk, but if they unzip the content, it is there. And when somebody asks why I talk so fast, I reply “because I think faster than I talk, hence I have to finish talking about this one before the second one is lined up to be talked about ” πŸ˜€ Actually it is because of short attention spans and memory lapses.
  • the lazy-bums: the ones who are reticent, who hardly talk.. as if they are being taxed for every word they utter. They nod, frown, signal using fingers and use tongue exclusively for what God intended it to (taste). They give this deep-in-thought matured person-like image, but once you get them to talk (hint: alcohol), then somebody stop them! Come on, all those thoughts had to come out someday..
  • the opera singer: these are the people who talk as if they are singing. Remember, it is not melodious, but they vary the pitch from the lowest possible sur to the ultrasonic frequency. (actually, this is kinda sexy with girls)
  • around-the-world-in-80-days: the ones who take ages to make a point, with lots of “and..”, “so..”, “but then..” and no full-stop in sight. They dont have coherent thoughts, and keep talking tangentially for hours about how their dog pooped. I am pretty sure they must have got full marks in Social Sciences.
  • the youtube kind: who want to make sure you dont miss out on the action! They not only talk, but use their hands, facial expressions or even enact to ‘help’ you get the point. I understand that body gestures are natural, but there is a limit, isnt it? (I thought of including my video reg. this post, but then..)
  • cryptic-talkers: this kind doesnt intend to be cryptic, but most of what they talk cant be understood by anybody. They talk as if they are disinterested in the conversation (it is because of their style, like S.Stallone) but they actually like talking. Why do American women love Italian /French/any accented men? Because they think he is talking something romantic when in reality he was asking her to split the bill.
  • Could you add some more from your experiences?


10 Responses to “iTalk”

  1. sudhakar Says:

    LOL!!! nice one…

  2. Cinamon Says:

    hmm… ok… good.

    Nice post. You just forgot one category…. Women.

  3. anishadutt Says:

    maybe you could say people who make it a point to repeat their stories till a point where the person in front can narrate it with the same flow and emotion! πŸ˜€

  4. some body Says:


    i am with you on the talking speed thing. i had to (try to) adjust twice – once for va and once for tx; both attempts failed. america is (and americans are) unforgiving towards those who talk faster than they (americans) can understand. whoops, i already lost my chain of thought – should have typed faster! πŸ˜‰

    btw, lovebites blew me away. thank you!!


    mr. shark and you might want to view more of their videos not just the one pavan put up.

    – s.b.

  5. Pavan Says:

    sudhakar: from your short comment, I infer that you fall under the β€œsave words, save world” group, right?
    Cinamon: Women are a mix of all of the above, and some weird ingredient still unknown to mankind!
    Anisha: wow, there exist such a group? awesome.. I have seen kids with that kind of enthu and expectations but eventually it wears out, I guess
    somebody: oh, then, welcome to the club I still have that problem. Those β€œlovebites” series used to be aired on TBS (British original I guess, adapted to US telly), the 30-some videos are great.

  6. Cinamon Says:

    Oh yes Pavan the category Anisha says exists. Unfortunately my mother is a part of that ckub :).

  7. shark Says:

    ok! where’s my category?
    – I can talk forever till the other person really tries hard to stay awake! (Niether slow not fast.. perfect paced :P)
    – I switch (or is it mix) languages (I know 6 of them in case you ask) so much that finally the opposite party stops me and asks me to repeat the same in one language he/she knows!
    – BUT! when i go in front of my father, not one word come out of my mouth.. why? why? why?

    I seriously hated love bites! I find them extremely silly! But I am sure P would love to watch it… atleast for the girl πŸ˜‰ will make sure he never hears of this πŸ˜‰
    By the way, this particular vedio was OK! πŸ™‚

  8. Ramanan Says:

    I suppose you forgot about the good talkers :-). The ones that use as few words as possible to make his/her point.

  9. Cinamon Says:

    Awesome picture.

  10. rads Says:

    lol, Boy, we do love to box folks up don’t we? πŸ˜‰

    If I had to classify myself, I’d probably be a mashed up combo of the around the world and youtube kind. 😐
    ..and of course am an opera singer, I mean, which girl isn’t? πŸ˜€

    Loved the lovebites video, and came in here via SB da linker.

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