March 13, 2007
Seriously, an “Indian cricketophobic” is an oxymoron.. until you meet me. I am not a cricket-hater but prefer other things than watching/playing cricket, which include anything from watching Desperate Housewives to counting the number of hair follicles on Salman’s balding head (which is again a time-dependent variable).
I attribute my lack of cricketly love to my disturbed childhood, not that I was abused and made to do all sorts of chores or labored all day, but I was the center of a gazillion pounds of love and affection, and I was so protected that I wasnt allowed to play much.. hence I developed an early love for gadgets and stuff..
My first “big” encounter with cricket was when our team (or “house” as it was then called back in school) had to include me in the team for finals (as they ran out of any other student who could bleakly act as an extra, and I was
huge healthy back then which might scare the bowler).. so the situation was similar to that of Lagaan.. I was the runner asked to give the other player the chance to bat.. and this one time by mistake I ended up facing the ball and suddenly I was the center of focus.. People were desperately praying for me, not that I should hit a fabulous shot but that I move away from batting and get back to running.. I was also provided with a by-runner as I was a slow runner.. I luckily hit a 4 on my first ball and the next ball was “lbw”. That was it.. though nice strike rate na?
People thought that I looked like Sachin (due to the then curly hair that we both sported), hence every time India played, the breaks in college involved people asking me what the score was..
friend: “hey Sachin, what is the score?”
me: “hehe” and proceed towards the restroom
he: “no seriously, I AM asking the score”
me, innocently: “oh, so India is playing today?”
he: “traitor, are you a Pakistani.. or an alien?”
Nowadays, I am seeing more women expressing their love for cricket.. not sure if they seriously follow cricket, or they watch for Kaif/Dravid or they fake their love to get guys (it is kinda sexy seeing a girl express her love for sports, admit it). Hence, inorder not to seem like a gay, I too had started faking my love for cricket. Everyday, I made sure The Hindu‘s second last page was read.
But I dont anymore. Why? First, there were some other freaks who belonged to the same club. We call it “What-is-Cricket club” but another reason is that I discovered a maniacal sport called American Football. It is engrossing, filled (and often hyped) with excitement, and the best combination a guy can ask for: kicks of testosterone and cheergirls. I cant complain.
I soooo wish Indian cricket had cheergirls too.. would make more of our kind “notice” the game.. we have short attention spans you see.. oooh I got an email..
PS: World Cup cricket has commenced, may the best team (fixer?) win!