Targeted ads

July 20, 2006

Dont you hate those targeted ads at websites you frequent? Nowadays, it seems (I read at wired), companies are studying your browsing habits, frequency of checking mails, the demographics, and spitting out location-based, gender-based, economic-class-based, tailor made ads. And I thought Yahoo hired psychics when I saw these ads:

Hey Pavan,

(*) Want to earn an online degree in less than 1 year? Me: Sure, want my credit card? speaking of which..
(*) Want to improve your credit score? Is yours comparable to the average value of 678? Atleast near? Maybe in the near 100’s? ok buddy, Do you atleast have a credit score? (reminds me of the joke I heard: How does a Mexican pay? He takes out his knife and shouts: Do you accept “Mexican express”?)
(*) Want to date hot singles in your area (with the zipocode)? They are waiting for you. Me: Pfttt.. gimme a break, who has time?
(*) Are you looking for high-paying jobs with almost no-work, flexible hours, and great locales (LA beach)? Me: What do you think I am doing right now?
(*) Would you like to send some money to your parents in India? Look no further.. ICICI

I guess I was happy with those ads promising free iPods if I could kill that monkey in the flash game. Damn, I miss you monkey!

BTW, have you ever wondered what IQ those ads were targetting when they ask you to recognize who the male in the pic is (its George Bush.. or wait was it Al-Gore? John Kerry?), or recognize whose eyes those were (its Angelina Jolie), or.. ah, forget.

It is good to have ads at certain places, as long as they stay limited to some situations. Imagine this scenario: You are in Pittsburgh temple, early morning archana time, Pujari says: Om Sri Venkateswaraya namah.. now a word from our sponsor: Dont miss tonight’s Rahman concert in Michigan, brought to you by Wizard entertainment.. relevant google ads: Did you mean Venkateswara art creations? Buy cheap VCDs at Venky digital mart in Koti, Hyderabad. or Buy Victory Venkatesh’s posters online.

Kalyana mandapam: bridegroom just about to tie mangalsutram.. and then the much-awaited “aaagandeeeeeee or rukeyeeeeeeeeeeee or nillllllangeeeeeeeey.. this marriage cant proceed.. just wait for 5 minutes..” and then the guy takes out a paper, and reads out loudly : “are you still single? did you come here just for food? if yes, then please visit Kamatchi tiffins at Ameerpet for best home-made-food.. and if you came to get hooked with prospective brides, go to shaadi.com.. its absolutely free! thanks for your time and oh dont forget to check out LePakshi arts @ Sec’bad for gifts that are dirt cheap yet look expensive.. for occasions such as this.. oops wrong place?”

I am done.

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3 Responses to “Targeted ads”

  1. shark Says:

    ha..ha.. ha.. I love ads!

    But I hate rediff.com! Have you seen the number of ads that come out of every corner once you open that page!

    For christs sake its a news paper.. looks like an ad journal to me!:)

    Time of Inida… the less said the better! It’s not a news paper in the first place!

  2. Jo Says:

    Actually the Kalyana mandapam scenario might happen in reality one day..imagine…”This part of the wedding ceremony is brought to you by the bride’s maternal uncle’s second brother’s son!” or “This gulab jamun in the wedding feast is sponsored by the Mr.Bighearted XYZ”…:))

  3. Pavan Says:

    [shark] I dont browse rediff.. but TOI is yellowpages with occasional news bits in b/w.. and that too masala stuff

    [jo] yeah “chadivimpulu” might have ads integrated 🙂


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