Do you understand me?

June 2, 2006

Here is a fictional scenario (which is slowly becoming a reality):

Imagine English getting impure with geek talk.. sooo impure that you find it difficult to separate the two, maybe even distinguish? Reading a couple of random geek quotes/cartoons somewhere  {a couple were from bash.. thanks Huzaifa, it helps in this old age, jeetey raho betey} made me think.. and write this. Here is Geek-lish for you:

  • I am with my advisor.. He: "so Pavan, where have you been for so many days?". Me: "Sorry Prof, 404 error: health not found."
  • Random person on road: "Hey, any idea how do I get to the nearest Kinkos?" Me: "Yeah.. simple cd I-10\Exit 240\Vancouver Ave\ and then.. oops sorry not Vancouver Ave. cd.. cd Montana Ave and then it is next to Starbuck's" He: "urghh thanks, but are you okay?"
  • Roomie: "Hey whats Citibank's toll free number?" Me: "It's 1-800-[(10x)(ln(13e))]-[sin(8*pi)/2.362]"
  • Cousin from India: "So anna, what exactly are you working on?" Me:"I am trying to simulate and enhance the mixing of kryptonic lasers in crossflow using Einstein-Kumar hypothesis in 4th dimension, taking into consideration time dilation under 10,000 Reynolds number conditions by introducing Synthetic Jets.., or in other words no idea"
  • The first language my kids would speak is BASIC: "10 PRINT "dad" 20 PRINT "dad" 30 PRINT "Could we have some chocolates please?" 40 INPUT X and me: 10 "X=NO" 20 PRINT "Over and out"
  • I would name my kids "CTRL", "ALT" and "DEL" so that when things go out of control, a simultaneous smack on their backs would bring things back to normalcy.
  • Wife/Girlfriend/any bugging person: "Honey, put the trash out and do the laundary" and me "Hmmn Bad command or Filename"
  • A friend: "Dude, make sure nobody knows about this hot news I got.." and me: "Dont worry, this conversation is 128-bit encrypted.. not even NSA would get to know"
  • Me: "Hey, why dont you ALT-F4 whatever you are doing and lets watch this movie I got"
  • "Hey I cant find the house keys da".. answer: "Did you Google it?" Yes, I know, it's a lame lame joke.
  • School scenario: a) Teacher asks student a question.. kid takes hic cell phone out and she says "Nooo, You cant call a tech support" b) Teacher asks him a question and he is thinking.. she asks him what he was doing and he replies "Downloading answer.. 22% remaining at 44kbps speed"
  • Intern to Manager: "I was thinking out of the box.. and now I cant get back in.. I forgot the password" Yilkes!
  • I am with this date and the first question after the usual "hi" and "breaking ice" is: "So, what's your syntax like? do you come with a manual or something? maybe a help command? no? atleast Release notes? Oh c'mon do you freaking have a CHANGELOG or TODO file atleast?"
  • When my friend was once being mugged, he cried out "F2, F2, Please F2 me". Yeaaah, he eventually scared that person robbing him.

Hope you understand what I am CTRL-B trying to convey CTRL-B. It isnt <i>THAT</i> scary, is it? I was actually planning to post the binary format of this but then.. oops hello? hellloooo?? are you there?


10 Responses to “Do you understand me?”

  1. Huzaifa Says:

    Is it just me or are some of the geek-isms eerily similiar to those which appear on
    They aren’t stealing from you are they? πŸ™‚

  2. Pavan Says:

    [Huzaifa]It’s the other way around.. I was “inspired” by 2 of Bash qoutes.. that made me write this post. I aint that creative πŸ˜€ but atleast the others I made up (I had the starting disclaimer.. right? the BASIC and CTRL-ALT-DEL are from

  3. Huzaifa Says:

    Pavan, your stuff is pretty good. And it’s ok to be “inspired”.
    Keep on blogging dude!!

  4. […] Pavan comes up with a fun new language: geek-lish. […]

  5. rambler Says:

    nice post.. F5(refresh)ingly funny.. πŸ™‚

  6. Suyog Says:

    ROFL πŸ™‚

    I have been accused of doing CTRL+F in real life as well – mmh many a times I get confused and start CTRL_Fing to remember where I put things. Hehehe.

    One of my friends had said LOL to a joke once, instead of umm… laughing.

    Great post!


  7. Pavan Says:

    [rambler] thanks πŸ™‚ I appreciate that you didnt ESC without commenting..

    [Suyog] Yes, CTRL-F is a boon.. esp for ppl like me (us?) who cant find even things which are staring right into my face! And I am pretty sure.. “open book exams” would soon mean “use of google permitted” πŸ™‚

  8. chilla-bong Says:

    I remember once a colleague of mine on being asked “WTF you are doing” when caught chatting in the office replied, “Oh I am running an interactive transcript over Java applet through HTTP protocol over TCP-IP network”.The PM couldn’t but help smiling.

  9. Prob not to this extent but i know a lot of chat lingo is becoming common in day-to-day talk.

    Good one ! πŸ™‚

  10. hardu Says:

    I should say that you have been working too hard. πŸ˜‰ Take a break boy!

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