Ideal Indian Idol
April 11, 2006
I first heard about this kind of program in US, the baap of Indian Idol: The American Idol. People were crazy with huge viewership. I thought America was crazy. But later, I realised that something was wrong with me because I never thought India would catch on this fad. I mean who would watch it?
My roomie runs and barges into our apartment at 6pm tonight. I thought he was being chased by someone. I instantly pull him inside and lock the door. He asks gasping, "Turn on the laptop, yesterday's Indian Idol episode is online". I look for avenues to run away. But nah, it was futile.
Sorry, you can never sell that kinda crap to me. This whole Indian Idol (refered as II henceforth) episode has gone out of proportions. Frankly. But things are different in reality. And it sells. Reality shows suck, more than a vacuum cleaner. I mean Mayor Teegala Krishna Reddy(Hyd) coming to Hyd Airport and receiving him with flowers and pomp and joy? A big procession with hundreds of poeple, bikes, banners, slogans, his friends/fans shouting at the top of their voice. I had tears in my eyes. For the other competitor, posters/pamplets are distributed/stuck everywhere in Rajasthan. Pichhi nalugu rakalu, a saying in Telugu which translates to "Insanity is of 4 types", but this show disproves it: there are more than 1001 ways. Dont believe? Watch II.
This whole shit is turning to politics. He goes to YSR (AP CM) and Nagarjuna, and asks Nagarjuna to talk on TV "requesting all to send SMS to him". I mean is this show 'a talent show' or clash of would-be politicians.
Two groups are getting benefitted all this while: The Sony TV and sponsors and the phone companies handling the deluge of SMS. Who is getting looted and raped? The audience, me and you. This whole thing is turning to Hyderabad vs. Bikaner. North vs. South. Me vs. II fans.
Girls are crazy behing Karunya. kkkkkkkarunya. I ask: "How does he sing?" They respond: "huh what? he sings?". Someone breaks into: "We love Karunyaaaaaaaaaaaa" and I turn back to see Sony TV camera coming. Karunya goes to his school. Kids ask their ma'm/teacher: "ma'm, what should we do?" Ma'm: "Shout 'Karunya' else you will fail in mid-term exams". His love towards his parents/friends/school/etc is tooooo much for me to digest even after 1 bottle of Hajmola. I mean you have feelings, I understand. But showing on TV, and showing excessively? Hmmn? Sorry I lost you there.
TV channel: Aapko Karunya acha lagta hai? A young girl: Haan, woh apne Mummy ko bahut pyaar karte hain. Jo ladke apne mom se bahut pyaar karte hain, woh bahut ache hotey hain. Me thought: "Lady, he also happens to sing".
So, how did I, of all the people, get to know about this? My 3rd roomie is a big Khaitan fan of Karunya. He hypnotized me and got me into this. 24/7 he kept torturing me by playing the II videos. The situation turned from bad to worse:
(*) By mistake, by mistake, I play a song on my laptop. I instantly listen to 2 more voices. My roomies have joined Sonu Nigam to add Dolby effects. tu hi tu…. I sing in my mind: "tadap tadap ke is dil se aaaaaaaaaaah nikalti rahi"
(*) If anyone goes to take a bath, we have a mic set, a stage and speakers all set in the bathroom. Luckily, we dont allow audience. Yeah all of us are full-time bathroom singers. Worth adding to resume? We now compete for Bathroom Idol.
(*) Evening 6-10, everyday, I constantly hear to II and the claps. Even Sony Executives wouldnt have watched so much.
(*) Our discussions have shifted from politics and 'the new babe on campus' to abstract and never-before heard terms like "sur", "taal", "antara" etc. It is as if even we are judjing the event.
Occasional silence is broken by my dear friend singing "Dil ne yeh kaha dil se". I am pretty sure he has Karunya's pic in his purse. Tch tch papam. I should take him to downtown disco and show him that there happens to be other gender called "females".
(*) Our house now looks like a kotha: "jhanak jhanak tore baaje payaliya" on II sung by Karunya, I sing: "inhee logon ne le liya chain mera" pointing to my roomies. Nah, I dont have flowers in my hand and I dont dance.
I did try to set them (roomies) straight. I thought of torturing them by playing "tera surooooooooor" by Nasal Resh'miyan' Himesh Reshmayya, but one of them liked that song really well. My bad.
Before I stop my rant, my sincere opinion: Karunya rocks. He sings really good. He has good stage presence, awesome voice but I am against all the hype, marketing etc which shadow his real talent. I hope such things are more controlled. I hope, but am pretty confident it would get worser. And I love my roomies, very much. New and Cyrus, if you are reading this. 🙂
After this, I had to, had to watch Company (RGV movie). I watched Company for the umpteenth time, and the dialogues were worth archiving. I should be using them more often, kya bolta?
Khaas aadmiyon ke saath hamesha rishta banaye rakhna chahiye- Mallik
khaas aadmiyon ko yeh bhee yad dilana chahiye ke woh kabhie bhee aam ban sakte hain- Mallik
Har insaan ke andar ek rakshash chupa hota hai, bas kuch log use bahar nikal ne se darte nahin- Mallik
Tarafdaree isliye kar raha tha taaki woh hamaree taraf rahey.- Mallik
Maine bhee yahi socha hai, fark sirf itna hai kai maine pehle socha- Mallik
Uske ghar walon se zyaada mujhe apne ladkon kee fikar hai- Mallik
Ho sakta hai ke hamne kuch suna nahin kyonki woh hamey kuch sunana nahin chahta- Mohanlal
Jiski nazar game se hati, samjho woh game se hat gaya- Mallik
Kisike sar pe kisika haath nahin hota, jo jis laayak hota hai, wo use mil jaata hai- Mallik
After these dialogues, I think Mallik (Company, played by Ajay devgan) should be the Ideal Indian Idol? what say?