Guilty of being a ‘gulti’

April 7, 2006

I dont want to be another Sanjay F(offtrack: what does F stand for?) Gupta or Kapi-kat (meow) Anu Malik. Hence, before I go ahead, like a good boy, I confess: I was hevvilee inspired by this post, of a fellow gultee. It is a nice and phannee phost, I suggest you to read it. I am here all day, go and come back.

thanks for coming back and not escaping when given a chance to, either way I would have hunted you down.

 I thought of kicking the bal-tee after reading that post about gul-tee males, by hanging from my dho-tee, but couldnt do the gal-tee. So, before you do ul-tee on my sick poetr-ee, I pour my side of being guilty.. er I mean a gultee(TM). It is purely based on my experiences, all resemblances to people living and dead (mostly) are bery bery yintensheenal.

Gultee(n): [sometimes refered to as gulti] meaning: Pavan's dictionary defines them as a thriving species from the South Eastern part of India (Andhra Pradesh) who speak an alien language called "Telugu" and are found in laaarge numbers all over the world. They are the second biggest group of Indians in US, after Gujjus (if you havent heard of them, then does motels or gas-stations or Subways ring a bell?). Every saftware company has Gults, and more gults, from programmer to tester to quality assurance department to CEO. From Oracle to MS to Google to Sitaramasastry Inc, they are everywhere. Devon street (Chicago)? check, SFO? check, Fairbanks-Alaska? check. East coast? checkuduu. Hawaii? you are kidding right? yes yes yes re baba, even there check.

Snippet: hint to imagine the scenario: When you are at Niagara falls, you hear only two languages: English and telugu.

First time I heard this word "Gult" was in TamilNadu (the perennial enemy of AP, grrrr). I was introduced to the class on my first  day and they asked me where I was from. Innocently, I replied "High-daru-baad". Oh, so you are a gultaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? (the "-aa-" part was not that long, but even today it echoes in my ears, after 9+ years). I turned behind to see if this guy was squint-eyed, and actually refering to somebody else. Nopes. His eyes drilled a 2-ft hole into my face. So, smilingly, trying to defuse the situation, I asked "gultee? what is that". My feebish smile faded. The person responsible for this invention should be awarded Nobel prize. What a creativity? You have the word-Telugu. You hate it right?. So? reverse it. Not "ugluet" (which again shares spelling with aglee i.e. ugly, damn!) but "te-lu-gu" becomes "gu-lu-te". So, Tamil is milta? Gujju is jjuggu?

That was short-lived, as I quickly learnt Tamil and become "machan" there. I never knew my past would haunt me here. In US, the Indian maps that are sold have the AP region marked as "Gult-land". Your online identity is taken over by this slang. Girls stop interacting with you if they know you are a gultee. It is as if I ride a bullock-cart, with stained teeth and torn clothes, swarm of flies around me, smell of cowdung. ayyayyo! grow up. Why this characterization-oo?

Aaj se theek 2 saal pehle, at US consulate:

Consular general: "So what is your name?"
Gult: " Venkata Ramana Gogula Vara Prasad Reddy"
CG: "huh? Where are the others?"

Snippet: Pavan's probability theorem states that if you go to any gult-land and randomly shout "Venkat", there would be atleast 2 people turning back.

Gult community is a close-knit family. They are present in universities, offices, large corporations. They keep a tab on every other Gult. "You know aa? Subbigadu got an offer from Microsoft. Dont tell anybody. He wants it to be a secret." Rinse, lather, repeat. "What ra, I heard you getting married next month? How much dowry huh?". "Mama, I need some info on this babe my parents are trying to set me up with. Do you know any Madhurima at University of Gult-sthan?". I even have plans to set up Gult Inc here. They are like FedEx, but on a small scale and into micro-economics. You want pickles to be sent from Hyd to Norfolk Virginia? No probs. You want 1 kg Pulla Reddy sweets delivered to Wisconsin-Madison? done. [..are your parents or relatives living in India..] Wanna send $400 to Dilsukhnagar (Hyd)? Not ICICI dumbo, Gult Inc. Call 1-800-PAVAN for further details. The airspace between US and AP is shrinking daily. You know why Concorde was built first place? You didnt read it here, okay? Stats show that there are atleast a dozen gults in air every second travelling the Hyd-US route. You know why telecom shares are rising daily? Try calling Hyderabad on a weekend or festive day from US. Sometimes, it is quicker to fly and wish your loved ones there. Every house in Hyd has atleast one (update: just received, it is actually 2) close relative living in US.

PR and contacts are our best asset. Every other Gult has a fat address book and the phonelist is as big as a telephone directory. Getting admitted to a university, getting reference/reco for a job etc. become easier if you are in the Gult-club.

Rule 1: You never speak about Gult club

Rule 2: You never speak about Rule#1

Rule 3: You never blog about Gult-club, especially in a derogatory tone.

Rule 4: You are so screwed today Pavan, it being a Friday evening. Your friends will have a nice time deep-frying you in hot oil.

This has reached new heights. Just like Indian BPO learn American accent, team leaders and project managers here are attending telugu courses. Really, Chandrababu Naidu kee kasam. NJ and Cal (silicon valley) has numerous of our group members running our mission there. The biggest two clubs in US are: TANA and ATA.

My views are very very skewed due to the fact that I hardly stayed in AP (and with gults). So, before you lift those hockey sticks and brickbats, I would like to proclaim this to the world, by shouting from Sears Towers: "I am proud to be gult, and shall do my best to pass on this legacy, by holding great respect to this institution". Amen. I mean A-Gulti-men.

Background song:

"Chahey koi mujhe Gultee kahey,
Kehne do jee kehta rahe,
ham sattire ke deewane hain,
hum blog kare"

–>Next week: Aravam land (Tamilians)- the revenge of the gults!<–

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73 Responses to “Guilty of being a ‘gulti’”

  1. Apoorv Reddy Says:

    Awesome ,buddy 🙂
    Me Still laughing like madman.Well proud to be a Gult 🙂
    Aur kya kahe,tussi great ho !!!

  2. Apoorv Reddy Says:

    And yeah,waiting eagerly for the revenge of gults !!!

  3. Ravi Says:

    Dude.. You have just broken the gult Friday oath. You are screwed.. Here I am graduating after 4 f***ing years on Friday and there you are writing this f***ing blog about f***ing gults..

  4. hardu Says:

    Pavan, as Frankfurt comes on the way to the US, could you please drop off a kilo of Pulla reddy sweets here? 😛

    About getting a girl. Don’t worry. Atleast the Gult girls will not run away from you. So you still have a chance. 😉

  5. shub Says:

    hehe….hilarious! 🙂 loved the snippets.
    maybe you should make a movie : I – proud to be a gulti :p

  6. Pavan Says:

    Apoorv, Thanks mama. Good that I have some support from a fellow gult 🙂

    Ravi, I was the first to congratulate you (via your blog). But sorry I couldnt make it. I was sleeping by then. And I posted this in afternoon, not when you were with da gang.

    Hardu, please send advance in Euros. I shall send some Pavan Reddy sugar tablets. 🙂

    Shub, Thanks. I was planning to make “Gult-force One” ala Airforce One but ran out of money 🙂

  7. hardu Says:

    Pavan: Naaku Pavan Reddy sugar tablets vaddu.:P only Pulla Reddy sweets accepted and cash on delivery. 😛

  8. Jo Says:

    hey pawan,
    really funny Post !Being a half-gult myself , really enjoyed the Gult-Club part of it :))

  9. Pavan Says:

    thanks Jo (are you J.Lo? Jennifer Lopez? 😀 ) Well, as you are half Gult, you get temp membership subject to approval 🙂

  10. Sudha Says:

    Hey Pavan!

    HILARIOUS! That was a real cool one. Though I completely detest my Telugu friends using the word “GULTI”. Some how I din’t mind it this time.

    I just found your blog and I think it’s super COOL!

    Keep them coming

  11. Pavan Says:

    Sudha, thanks. Yeah me too, I felt bad initially being labelled as Gulti.. but now have felt in love with that word 😀

  12. Baladithya Says:

    good one yar …..

  13. Sanish Fernandez Says:

    u kno i’ve heard the term so many times… my roommates a big G… and he goes livid if i even ask him wat it means!

    thanx 4 clearin the fog on dat one…

  14. Rams Says:

    Excellent one dude 😀

  15. sudhakar Says:

    Pavan..

    Wonderful post.. ROTFL… Have you seen Dollar dreams? It does cover most of NRT (non resident Telugu) issues..

  16. somebody Says:

    It was funny, but I hate you (you, who went to sambar land) and make funny of being gult. I am not impressed by the fact that you are proud of being gult. Well, I am not so fond of few people who ‘say’ they work in ‘saftware’ companies, but, thanks to those telugu people, India is known to everyone in world, who work in IT/Software/Hardware.

    You said ‘Girls stop interacting with you if they know you are a gultee’? I say you were probably talking to a tamil girl here? were you?

    I could get in detail with you about what you wrote, but I think that would be your next article about Gultis revenge on aravam people.

    If I can, I would really get a hockey stick or a base ball bat or a cricket bat and hit you.

    Sicerely,
    Telugu Speaking Person

  17. Maddy Says:

    Fabulous Article, I loved it.
    Proud to be a Gulti

  18. Madhava Prakash Says:

    he he eh eh cool one

  19. Prashant Says:

    rotfl…good one bro. though i am not a telugu, i am a gult by default, having stayed in hyd all ma life

  20. prasad Says:

    you are one hillarious mofoer…proud to be a gultee man..keep posting man …

  21. addy Says:

    Great Dude. We are the bluffmasters huh !!

  22. rKr Says:

    kudos..amazin..!!wish u cud write sumthin abt ppl who aint gulti n have screwed up der fvckin lifes stayin out der.!!

  23. Manodu Says:

    Attention all those fools who feel that they r gults( named by some fools) others( other than telugus) plz ignore this… basically all the admirers to this blog may be frm that so called junk land called Hyd Raaa BAD unfortunately the capital of a great state where one feels SAD to reveal his identity n speak his language. I can definetly assure that there wont be any race or a particular SECT even if they are a group of 100 people who feel shy to show their identity but OUR people has this Syndrome(Basically I dont know YYY) Ok kk i dont want to bang ur brains with all my F…ing Lecture on this but one thing I would like to say is

    No Language/Culture in this world wouldn’t have been so great if they themselves have not exposed themselves.Even english!!! There is centuries of Brutal hard work behind its present Prominence( n we guys know that very well)

    So, Stop doing this n be proud to be in this state where we find our guys in great positions all over the world excuse me if i Hurt n dont think that iM not an IT guy Im in IT and into IT….

  24. Rahul Says:

    wow….this is a classic post man.

  25. Dee Says:

    Jeeeezus, I’ve not had a good laugh in DAYS! But this one totally cracked me up! I have tears in my eyes, I laughed that hard! 😛 I was looking for the meaning of the word gulti to send it out to my friend who has not heard of the term before and I stumbled upon this precious precious post! Thank you!

  26. Meera Says:

    lmfo….very very very authentic

  27. rads Says:

    lol, good one 🙂

    Funny part was since I grew up outside of AP, [read Madras] I never associated with much telugus except till I landed here!
    So I land at the U here, and I hear so much telugu in the corridors, in calss, in the cafeteria, I am going nuts! Ive never heard so much telugu in one shot…

    In any case, am called Aravam pilla by the telugu group, and am a gulti for the Tams. So I live happily on the fence jumping either side to how situation demands..

    You are funny 🙂

  28. maverick Says:

    enjoyed it all thru, there used t be days when chennai was the whole of ‘south india’, i quite see this stereotype changing


  29. […] but contempt to these people, being educated finally all they could do was come up with these posts?? Pathetic. On the other hand I came across many people who have given better account of the […]

  30. A-Jay Says:

    Amazing post…. I am a proud, self-respecting goltee… defending all the telugus….. ready to pounce on aravams and northees as soon as they something derogatory…. I almost had all the experiences you had…. coz I did my bachleors in TN.. reminded me of those days..

  31. Aparna Says:

    Dont feel Guilty dude, just feel Gulti!! [:)]

  32. priya Says:

    its good to actually be a gulti here in U.S. pavan…since there are so many gults here tht i dont miss hyderabad 🙂
    But kudos man…ur so funny 🙂

  33. somebody! Says:

    hey! awesome post.. super hilarious :))
    give me the link to the tamil post too… need to have a better laugh with that, being tamilian 😉

  34. gultihuh Says:

    This posting hardly sounds credible to me, and surprising that it should come from a Telugu guy. Anyways stop beating about the dowry part as majority of educated Telugu guys atleast those who have done a masters or Phd DO NOT take dowry. Rinse, lather repeat. DO NOT take dowry.

  35. Ramesh Says:

    Hey Pavan,

    Nice one yaar…I actually don’t know why telugus are calledl gults so was googling…found ur blog…hilarious blog man…keep posting

  36. Umakanth Nelige Says:

    That was an aweswome article.. kip goin Gulti Bro!

  37. Karthik Says:

    Hey dude tht was awesome …….. thoroughly enjoyed reading it …. i myself hav done my engg in chennai and had exactly a similar experience as u had described ……

  38. DK Says:

    Hey ,

    This is my first visit to ur blog!..

    It was really funny..especially the couselor asking abt the rest of the people after “Venkata Ramana Gogula Vara Prasad Reddy” mentioned his name!..

    I am a so-called “Gulti” too brought up in “Aravam Land” :-)!can’t wait to read ur next article abt the Tamil land!

    Keep ur blogs coming!

  39. apoorva Says:

    man.. dat ws hilarious….i still cnt stopping…… lols… me to a so called gulti.. studied in chennai… hehe.. there ws dis time wen a few of us got so annoyed n decided dat its high time we gave tm a name too… n so we called thm ‘imlats’… we did create it but well couldn’t use it… [:D] the origin ‘im – l – at’

  40. Raj Says:

    Hi buddy i belong to the sambar land da machaan ..your blog is too cool n hilarious..hope to here from you more like this …sambaar land always welcomes you da machaan…take care:)

  41. Machan Says:

    Huh!! First of all, this post is hilarious; secondly, it is not because I am a tammie that I find this hilarious. As much as I find this hilarious, so much I am annoyed by the friggin’ “gulti extremists” who spew hate in their comments… Brothers, chill out or bail out. Pavan saar, I’m bookmarking your blog for the next installment… yeah the Revenge of the Gult; I’m guessing that it’ll be funnier. But hey, promise a post about the so called God’s own country. Maaaaannn… that’ll be a riot!! A hell lot of fodder to chew!! heheheh! Please please please….

    And oh hey, another thing fellas… Isn’t sambar eaten/drunk/slurped up almost everywhere in South India? And by deduction, shouldn’t the whole of south india be called sambar land? If you argue that it is of tammie origin, I guess then it mean tammies have conquered the entire peninsula at least in that aspect… muhahahah! Power to the Tammies!!!

  42. Salil Says:

    Awesome humor… subtle and real… not sattirical at all…

    I hope the Americans n British realize who r the “gults” soon… they ‘ll know who the smartest looking and able lot are… hail sexy gultis!

  43. K V Rao Says:

    great. was searching for the word gulti on google today after reading about another telugu techie death in US of A and came to know what it means to be gulti. Although I heard abt this word some 30 years ago from another gulti who actually was a semigulti ( that means born telugu but born and brought up in aravam land and always used to move only with semi gultis. May be I will write abt some more at a later date.

  44. Megha Says:

    brilliant post

    i couldnt stop laughing!!

    (a couple of the responses are a bit disturbing to me though…i mean take a joke as a joke!)

  45. Sreekanth Manne Says:

    as some one opinted out earlier, I used to hate being called a “Goltee” in Chennai. Yet, it does sound ok to be called one. Didn’t know it was so cool to be one.
    Also, I’m forwarding it to all my chennai friends who used to get blasted for calling me a gult.
    Time for some Gult-tripping.

  46. K V Rao Says:

    The promise to write about “aravam land” appears to be more than 2 years, but it has not yet seen the light of the day. May we know the reasons for the delay in putting it on the block. Although I am new to your blog, I cannot wait to read it. If I have missed out on the link please provide me with one. Thanks

  47. sonam Says:

    Was just curious what gulti means. From your post this gulti thing seems only Tamil-Andhra conflict thing but don’t know why??? Curious

  48. Ripp3r Says:

    Nice article, needless to say both Gultis and Tamils are becoming the effin disgrace to indians world wide. Be it obnoxiously loud overtones or gangbanging 20-1 in a van to walmart just the undernourished, skinny unkempt look with the potbelly hanging out just makes me want to bitch slap the entire community.
    Being a tamil myself i just wish the situation would change, again all I can do is wish. Till then I will be laughing in the sides lines about my brothers trying to get “play” and being shunned down.

    Someday indians will be respected APART from being just a bunch of hairy geeks.

  49. srikanth, proud gultee Says:

    yo gultee, proud to be gultee and happy to read your phanni snippetsu.. . . . Keep writing buddy. we probably are one of the few who can joke around and also bs around. keep it up and yassu, don’t forget to write about ‘bucket’ sambar gallu or leather gallu. . . .

  50. Anon Says:

    Hey landed on this page from a tweet 🙂

    ROFTL and one of the smart blogs read by me.

    Well, wanted to say that even if AP split, a golti would still be a golti, 🙂 People are so stupid they still dont understand divide and rule…


  51. […] January 20, 2010 by ahdaruna I’ve been meaning to learn telugu for the past few years. A lot of my friends in grad school were Andhraites, which’s odd because I’d never met Andhraites until then (this turned out to be wrong – I just couldn’t tell the difference between Andhraites and Tamilians before I met an overwhelming majority of gults). […]

  52. Mannoj Says:

    that consulate story was awesome man… !!!

  53. Duh Says:

    The questions is whether one should be proud about belonging to a generally despised, laughed-at, perhaps even hated ethnic group from India. There is a general solidarity among NRIs and people of Indian origin but all non-gultis dislike any affiliation with gultis. Most macho gults will say we dont need anybody else when we have each other, but that just reinforces the status quo. Secondly no group can survive being isolated over time. Gujjus tend to mix in well with all groups, Indians and otherwise. So even though gujjus may have a bad rep, other Indians (excluding gultis) still identify with them and see them as one of their own.

    I mean well towards Andhraites but it is high time for the younger generations to try and break out of the Gult club and build ties with other social groups. This is not to say you need to disown your heritage but sticking always with your own kind only builds resentment and hatred towards you. Just ask the German Jews if you know any.

    • nunu Says:

      Is this trait not seen in all South-Indian states? Maybe the focus is more on gultis (:O) as they outnumber other ethnic groups in sectors like IT especially in countries like US where they are just after gujjus in number.
      I agree 100% with whatever you wrote but i think its more an issue with geographic and linguistic backgrounds for many southindians.
      Being a telugu guy who did his bachelors in North-India with practically no gultis around (i was never called a gulti and wasnt even aware of the term till i finished my bachelors) and pursuing masters with practically no Indians around (no, not IT!) i know the need to build ties with all kinds of people. The change is there, albeit slow!

  54. Desh Premee Says:

    kyo Lad Rahey Ho Bewakufo
    India is one

    Noida mey gundagardi
    Delhi key car meh rape
    MP mey gas leak key badith ka balathkar
    Mumbai mey bomb ki athank
    AP mey Band ooo ki barish
    Chennai me Jaya ki sajish

    Jo Bolo Sonihal Sasriyakal

    Bewakufo We Are One
    Hum sub key problem ek hai we are one
    devide and rule har tharaf hai

  55. ruth Says:

    ahahah…good one…i just landed in the US and im still getting used to being called a ‘gulti female’ :p

  56. Screw_Gulties Says:

    You hire one gulti, your whole company will be filled with gultis. Meetings will all be in gulties. They are the virus, blood sucking leaches of the desi IT community.

  57. I hate gult Says:

    I hate gults and I am one!!!

  58. vishnu vardhan Says:

    The fact of the matter is, we Indians hate each other. For the sake of it I heard people mentioning that India is – country with unity in diversity. But this shitty blog is example to show that most of the Indians are racists
    Problem with Indians, especially Indian Hindu’s is – they simple cannot tolerate each other. Adding to this is that we all Indians are divided by: different casts, religions, regions, religions, languages, insecurities, etc.,

    It is simply impossible to unite our guys. Yeah !! give yourselves names, and criticize each other, if possible kill each other. No wonder, so many people from different parts of country have come and ruled us in the past.
    The hangover of the slavery from British Raj is not yet gone from our blood.
    So much of pain our ancestors have gone through, but shitty heads still don’t realize and unite.
    I don’t think it is difficult for any one to come from outside and rule our country again, because – WE FIGHT AMONGS OURSELFS !!!


  59. […] ఇక్కడ ఓ గుల్టీ వ్రాసిన టపా […]

  60. ఆధి Says:

    “Snippet: hint to imagine the scenario: When you are at Niagara falls, you hear only two languages: English and telugu.”
    A correction – only tow sounds, one of the water falling and the other, gultees talking in Telugu.

  61. eshaaaa Says:

    Gultis have no ethics. They backstab and gang upon people who dont speak their language.

  62. Abhishek Says:

    After coming to USA, I realized something.. something really disturbing, depressing and shameful.. we Indians are the #1 racists in this world.. not only do we hate blacks, asians, gora’s, mexicans we hate bangladeshis, Pakistanis, Sri Lankans, Chinese.. and here is the Interesting part .. we hate our own people more than anyone.. north east Indians, punjabis hate gujju’s and vice versa, Tamil n Telugu, Marathi n Bihari the list goes on… Proud to be an India? seriously?

  63. whizkid Says:

    I am just appalled that people Indians living in america are at each other throats with these stereotypes. Its just disgusting to see. 65 years ago whites were ripping our arses because of our divided society and still we havent learnt. We are hard b**s to learn a lesson. Indaisn are literally fighting amongst like street dogs with each other. So northis dont like south, south dont like north, south and north dont like north east, north west dont like north and south, mallus dont like kannadas, telugus dont like tamils why the fuck are we even one country now?

    Please do us living in India as favour guys dont ever ever ever come back to India with these stupid stereotypes and with your bigoted mindset. I thought Indians living abroad are decent and united looks like you people are more divided and Indians in India. If americans kick you all out for your menace please live there illegally or go to some other country. We in India dont need guys like you. Yukkk on one hand you are living like a second class citizens and on the other hand you are fighting like rabid dogs.

  64. Jay Says:

    Thank you for every other magnificent post. Where
    else may anybody get that kind of info in such an ideal approach of writing?

    I’ve a presentation subsequent week, and I’m on the search for such information.


  65. […] I need not elaborate on what or who a gulti is. If you don’t know check this link […]


  66. Wow ….. that was quite funny and yea my boyfriend who is a tamizhan first asked if I was gultee. And one more thing when we address. Tamilians by saying them tamilian pat comes thereply that it is tamizan ….. www I laughed my tummy out reading you article …..keep up the good work

  67. sukuva Says:

    Longlive telugus, AP & Telangana…

  68. Kasha Auvil Says:

    Super ce post, je vais le partager sur Twitter si ça vous va .


  69. If your real buddies know you as your nickname, use that nickname as your very first name online. When you 1st friend someone, focus on generating a individual comment that weaves connection.


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